The Boy Who Has No Belief (Soulless Book 7)

  The Boy Who Has No Belief

  Soulless #7

  Victoria Quinn

  Hartwick Publishing

  Hartwick Publishing

  The Boy Who Has No Belief

  Copyright © 2020 by Victoria Quinn

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  1

  Derek

  I worked at my desk in the lab building, using my device to scroll through the schematics I’d finished and projected onto the main screen so the guys could see. “Fuel proctor is here.” I marked it with my pen in red. “Protected from the oxygen tanks here.” I marked it again before moving on to the next part. “The thermal protectant of the alloyed metal is also a conductor and an insulator, so any temperature variations should be stabilized as the rocket reaches different parts of the atmosphere, regardless of the weather conditions and water particles in the air.” I moved on, going through every part of the rocket we’d designed, starting from the outside, working in, deepening the discussion to the minuscule parts that were easily forgotten because of their size, but were just as important.

  My phone kept lighting up with text messages, and since it was synced to my device, they kept popping up on my screen too. They were all text messages from Ryan.

  I’m proposing on Saturday night, in Central Park.

  She’s not gonna have a clue.

  That sexy bitch is gonna be miiiiine.

  I knew he was eager for my reaction, so I quickly typed a response and moved on. Can’t wait. “I’ve gone over this a million times and think it’s perfect. All we have to do now is hand it over to the appliance team, and they’ll build it in the hangar. You want to take the night to go over it before I send it in the morning?”

  “I agree,” Jerome said. “We should sleep on it.”

  “We’ve been working on this for a year,” Pierre said. “I’m confident it’s the best rocket ever built. But yeah, let’s take the night to think about it.”

  I disconnected my device from the screen then stared at all the details we’d invested so much of our time in. It was the first of its kind, with autonomous navigation systems that could connect to Voyager One and Voyager Two even though they were in interstellar space. Humankind was anxious to get to Mars someday, and that wouldn’t happen unless we had the equipment to get there safely. The distance wasn’t the issue for astronauts. It was the lack of gravity. That was a problem my big brain still couldn’t solve…and probably would never solve.

  Ryan texted me again. We should celebrate sometime afterward.

  Just give me a time. Once the wedding came around, I knew Kevin and Tabitha would both be there, and they would know I would be there too. So, all parties involved would probably be dreading it on some level. But as long as we didn’t speak to each other, it should be fine. I’d been pretending that none of them existed for the last ten years, and I could continue to do that even when they were five feet away from me. I wasn’t some pussy who would bow out just to avoid them. They were the ones who’d decided to be despicable people, so they could be uncomfortable around me.

  I tried not to think about it because any time I remembered that night, I felt just as shitty as I had then.

  Jerome and Pierre packed their things and left for the day. “See you later, Derek.”

  “Good work today.” Emerson told me I needed to give more positive reinforcement as a boss because all I ever did was complain about everything that was done improperly. But being a leader was about celebrating triumphs as well as scolding shortfalls.

  They both stopped and stared at me, shocked by what I’d said.

  I lifted my gaze and looked at them. “What?”

  Pierre raised an eyebrow. “I’ve just never heard you say that before…”

  Was I really that bad? Guess Emerson was right. “Well…I’ll work on that.”

  Jerome raised both eyebrows. “You okay, man?”

  “I’m fine,” I asked in confusion. “Thanks for asking.”

  They walked away, and I heard Jerome say to Pierre, “Emerson has really turned this place around…”

  Yeah, she had. I dropped my head and got back to work.

  An hour later, the door opened, and Emerson walked inside.

  I lifted my chin and looked at her, watched her walk inside in high-waisted black jeans, a gray sweater that hung off one shoulder, and black boots that made her look like she was on the catwalk instead of in the lab.

  My work was forgotten.

  A slight smile came onto her lips, like she knew exactly what I was thinking. “You’re really handsome when you look like that.” She took a seat on the stool across from me.

  “Like what?” I asked. “Turned on?”

  She smiled. “Yes.” She set her purse on the workbench then stared at me, her long hair pulled over one shoulder, dark eye shadow on her lids, making her look sultry.

  “I must always look like that when I’m around you.”

  She ran her fingers through her hair then gave a shrug. “Most of the time, yeah.”

  I pulled back the sleeve of my sweater and looked at the time. “It’s almost seven? Jesus.” I thought the guys had left early, but in fact, they’d stayed two hours later.

  “Time flies when you’re…building a rocket.”

  I chuckled. “It’s done. We just wanted to go over the final design before handing it off to a different department. I have to get started on that rover, but I just… It’s hard for me to let it go. I keep checking to see if I did something wrong, but I won’t really know until we do a trial.”

  “I’m sure it’s perfect, Derek.”

  I closed my device because it was time to go home, even if I had so much to do.

  She watched me, her smile fading and her eyes softening.

  I met her gaze and stared at her, seeing her care about me so visibly. It reminded me of the way both of my parents looked at me, like I was the most important thing in the world to them. It was subtle and unnoticeable to most people, but I noticed it…because I knew these people so well. “Thank you for giving me another chance.” I was still ashamed of the way I’d acted before, when I became so resentful that I exploded into a giant asshole. Finding common ground and finally being together made me happier than I’d ever been my entire life. And it almost didn’t happen.

  Her eyes softened further. “I’d give you a million chances, Derek. You’re worth it.”

  Sometimes I wasn’t so sure.

  I grabbed my things and stuffed them into my bag. “You probably have to get home because it’s late.” Now, I tried to get home at a reasonable time so she could come over for an hour or so, and we could have our alone time, the time of day I looked forward to the most. After she left, sometimes I drove back to the office to finish whatever I was working on without telling her, just so she wouldn’t think I was rearranging my entire schedule to be with her…even though I was.

  She shrugged. “I have time for a quickie.”

  That quickie could happen here, but I liked stripping her clothes away, seeing her naked body on my comfortable sheets. I didn’t want any interruptions. The couch in my office was great once in a while, but most of the time, I wanted to make love. There was never any fucking, even if was aggressive and fast. I’d done a lot of fucking the last ten years, and this definitely wasn’t fucking. “Good.”

  She was on top of me, rocking her hips and arching her back as she began dancing on my dick. My
hands held on to her petite frame, and we moved together until we ignited, both of us writhing in mutual pleasure, the view of the city outside my window behind her sexy figure.

  She rolled off me then lay beside me, her eyes closing and her body relaxing, like she wanted to sleep there and never leave.

  Sometimes it bothered me, that we could never have that. We couldn’t do sleepovers like other couples, wake up and go to breakfast the next morning. We couldn’t do a long weekend at my penthouse, with no obligation to anything.

  At least for another six years.

  I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, so if I had to wait six years for us to have what we really wanted, that didn’t seem so bad. I could avoid the relationship with Lizzie altogether. She could go off to college and be out of the house, and I’d see her on occasion for holidays and special events.

  But then I felt terrible for thinking that way.

  That wasn’t what Emerson wanted from me.

  She wanted me to have a relationship with her daughter, for us to be a family, the way my mother had loved me like her own, loved me as much as Dex and Daisy.

  It was a daunting task, but I’d promised I would try. So I had to get into that mind-set.

  I just struggled to have a relationship with anyone, even Emerson initially, and now I had to force a relationship with a kid who was practically an alien to me. My dad seemed confident I could do it, but I wasn’t so sure.

  She was staring at me.

  I hadn’t noticed.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  I turned my head so I could look at her.

  “Your mood dropped… I can feel it.” Her hand moved over my hard stomach, feeling me, her hair messed up from before when my hands were up in it.

  I lied. “My best friend is proposing to his girlfriend in a couple days.”

  “Really?” she asked with a smile. “That’s exciting.”

  “Yeah, she’s my friend too. It’s been a long time coming, honestly. Ryan just needed to save for the ring, and living in Manhattan, it’s impossible to save for anything.”

  She chuckled. “Like you would know.”

  Not personally, but I could understand the concept. “You should meet my friends.” She would come to the wedding with me, so she should meet the people I was closest to. “You’re going to be my plus-one for the wedding, so…”

  “Will you be in the wedding?”

  I nodded. “Best man.”

  “Aww, he already asked you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s so cute. I’d love to meet them.”

  “I’ll let you know. He wants to go out and celebrate the engagement.”

  “I think that’s a great idea.” She got out of bed and started to get dressed since she couldn’t stick around for long. She had a whole life waiting at home, a daughter who was growing up fast.

  I watched her pull on her clothes, disappointed she had to leave. I was alone in my penthouse most of the time, which wasn’t terrible because I was usually working, but it would be nice to have her there.

  I got up and got dressed.

  “So, I’ve got some bad news…” She came out of the bathroom after she’d fixed her hair.

  “Yeah?” I pulled on a hoodie so I could drive her home.

  “Astra Books loved your story. Like, really loved it.”

  My eyes narrowed.

  “So…they want to do that book tour we talked about.”

  I released a loud sigh, regretting ever writing that first manuscript in the first place.

  “And they want a few chapters of the next book, so they can include that in the back of this one. Also…they want the book done sooner, so the readers know they don’t have to wait as long for the sequel this time.”

  “This is a lot of bad news to deliver at once.” I wanted to snap back and give my refusal, but I knew Emerson wasn’t the problem. All of this was happening because of my negligence. If I’d just delivered that manuscript on time, none of this would be taking place.

  “I think it works out nicely. Since you’re being more available to the public, I think it’s just going to inspire people further. You’re a scientist, but you apply that knowledge to literature, and it shows people that they can literally do anything. You may not see the impact of your legacy for the next few decades, but you’re changing the world without even knowing it. Some young person is going to love your story, follow everything you do, and then be inspired to contribute to humanity the way you have.”

  She always weaved the narrative beautifully, erasing my annoyance and replacing it with ambition. “Fine…”

  She smiled. “Great. And you’ll start writing, or do you need my help?”

  “I think I got it.” I had so much on my plate right now that the idea of taking time to devote to a book seemed ludicrous, but knowing me, I would just fill up that time with something else if it were vacant.

  “Great.”

  2

  Emerson

  After Derek went to work, I let the housekeeper into his penthouse and organized some of his things for him. Now that he completely trusted me, it was much easier for me to do my job, to get the place nice and tidy for him. I delivered his groceries, took care of his dry cleaning and laundry, and got everything perfect for his return.

  Even though he was my man, he was still my boss and I still had to take care of him, but instead of finding it weird, it seemed normal. It wasn’t any different from a wife taking care of the house when her husband was at work.

  Except he was paying me.

  I guess that was a little weird, doing something for money when I would do it for free.

  Maybe I would do it for free…someday.

  I wasn’t in a rush to have a husband and settle down because I’d always been independent, but the idea of having a much more serious relationship with Derek didn’t scare me at all. Sometimes I pictured Lizzie and myself moving in here, coming home here every day, the three of us being a family.

  But I had to shut that down—quick.

  That was a looooong ways away…if it happened at all.

  My phone rang in my pocket, so I pulled it out and checked the screen.

  It was Cleo.

  Not my old mentor…but my man’s mother.

  Our dinner went well and everything felt comfortable, but I still felt a bit foolish for the way I’d spoken to her in the past. All the evidence was right in front of me, but I was too stupid to notice.

  Whatever. What’s done is done.

  I answered. “Hey, Cleo. How are you?”

  “I’m great. How about you?”

  “Just at Derek’s place right now, getting things tidied up.” I immediately reverted to our previous relationship because that was all I really knew.

  “I’m going to be free in an hour. I was wondering if you wanted to get a coffee or something?”

  Why? “Sure. I can do that.”

  “I’ll text you. Talk soon.” She hung up.

  I immediately called Derek even though he was working because I didn’t know what else to do.

  He answered right away. “Hey, baby.” He was probably at his desk in the lab, going over the final schematics of the rocket even though he needed to move on to his next project.

  “Your mom just called me…wants to get coffee.”

  He was quiet for a long time. “Is that it, or…?”

  “Do you know why?”

  “Do I know why what?”

  “Why she wants to talk to me.”

  He was quiet again. “Based on my reaction, I think you already know. I’m not sure what the problem is.”

  “I guess I’m just nervous.”

  “I thought the dinner went well.”

  “It did. I just…I don’t know.”

  Silence stretched across the line like he didn’t know what to say. “Look, my parents mean the world to me, but if they didn’t like you, it wouldn’t change anything. Because I know who you really are, an
d whatever reason they would have to dislike you would be invalid. But they do like you, so there’s no reason to be uneasy around her. My parents are the kindest people on the planet. I like it when you’re confident and strong. That’s what attracted me to you in the first place. So, don’t lose that for anyone—even my mother.”

  I sighed into the phone. “Okay.”

  “I have to go. I’ll see you later.” He hung up.

  I put the phone back in my pocket and told myself to buck up…and be myself.

  When I walked in the door, she rose from her chair to greet me with a warm smile and an affectionate hug, rubbing my back with the same motherly touch my own mother gave me. Her energy was infectious, like she was a genuinely happy person who filled everyone else with happiness. “It’s so nice to see you. Ooh, I love your boots.”

  “Thanks,” I said as I pulled away.

  “It’s happy hour, so I got you one of their pumpkin drinks.” She took a seat and crossed her legs, sitting upright with perfect posture, like she was a princess.

  I sat across from her. “Oh, that’s thoughtful. Thank you.” I tried to drink my coffee black to cut out all the calories and sugar, but I definitely preferred it this way, all sweet and delicious. I took a drink and immediately appreciated the taste. “Wow, that’s good.”

  “I know.” She took a drink of hers too. “All we have at home is almond milk and crap like that, so when I go out without Deacon, I get the worst thing I possibly can.”

  “That sounds like a good utilization of your time.”

  She chuckled.

  “Why is he like that?”

  She shrugged. “I think it’s because he takes care of sick people all day and he believes diet is directly responsible for your health, so he’s just really particular. When we first got together, it drove me up the wall, but now I’m just used to it. And honestly, I’ve never gained weight, my skin looks good, so I guess I have him to thank for that.”