The Girl Who Always Wins (Soulless Book 13) Read online

I started to get choked up because that process had been torture. “I can’t go through that again. I can’t do those tests and keep getting terrible news. It’s like being a punching bag. I went to different doctors, I tried different things…I did everything I could. I’m not going through that again. And I won’t put my partner through that either because it’s just as traumatizing for her as it is for me.” I dropped my gaze and controlled my breathing, refusing to break down in front of him.

  He was quiet for a long time. “I understand. It’s not the same, but when my wife had cancer, every test was torture. Even when I knew her condition, every time it was said to me, it was exactly like that…being a punching bag.”

  “I can’t have children. End of story. I don’t want to lose Daisy because I never thought I’d feel this way about someone, but my feelings are selfish. She deserves to go through all those life stages, having children, making her family…”

  “Those life stages don’t mean anything if you aren’t with the person you want to be with.”

  My eyes locked on to his again.

  “I don’t know how she’ll feel about it. I’m glad she’s seriously considering it because you’re right, she needs to know if that’s a life she’ll want. Especially for women, it’s a really big deal. You need to be with someone who completely accepts who you are, and if that’s not her, it’ll be someone else.”

  “But I want it to be her.” I blurted it out without even thinking—to her father, of all people.

  He didn’t have a reaction.

  “Does this…change the way you feel about me?”

  “In what regard?”

  “I mean, do you still approve of me for your daughter?” Maybe I shouldn’t even ask. He was brilliant and made brilliant people because of it. If his daughter didn’t reproduce, his legacy wouldn’t pass on. Reproduction was the single most important action in human biology, and as a scientist, he knew that.

  He took a long time to answer the question, his eyes shifting away. “My daughter is a grown woman who doesn’t need my approval. She should love who she wants to love, without my opinion or interference. I’ve learned this the hard way. But I will say this… Derek is from a different marriage, a different mother. My wife is not related to him biologically, but she loved him like her own, loved him better than his own mother ever did. And then Derek became a father to Lizzie, whom he doesn’t see as his stepdaughter. None of us do. My point is, you can grow your family in other ways, and family is more than just blood.”

  I didn’t realize how much I cared about his personal opinion until he didn’t give it. The disappointment must have shown on my face because he stared at me for a while before he addressed it.

  “No, Atlas. Doesn’t change anything at all.”

  4

  Daisy

  I didn’t go out with my friends.

  Just stayed home and worked.

  Didn’t realize I was depressed until I looked at myself in the mirror and saw death in my eyes.

  I sat at the dining table with my paperwork around me, a half-empty pizza box there too. Like most people going through a hard time, I threw myself into work.

  I knew Atlas was doing the same.

  He never made eye contact with me at the clinic.

  He avoided me.

  I avoided him.

  It sucked.

  A knock sounded on my door.

  I instantly looked up, hoping it was Atlas because he couldn’t be apart from me a moment longer. But I knew that wasn’t the case. It was someone else, and I hoped it was a Girl Scout selling cookies. Could really go for one of those right now.

  I opened the door.

  Mom and Dad.

  Dad was in jeans and a shirt, his hands in his pockets. Mom was dressed up in her typical pencil skirt and blouse, like she’d come straight here after leaving the concierge desk.

  My eyes narrowed. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “Just wanted to stop by.” Mom stepped inside first, giving me a half-mast smile.

  Dad followed, giving me a quick pat on the back. “Hey, sweetheart.”

  “But you only stop by when something is wrong.” I shut the door then turned to them.

  Dad was near the dining table, looking at my paperwork and pizza box. “What’d you get?”

  “Combination.” My arms crossed over my chest. “So…everything okay?”

  Mom took a seat on my white couch, sitting upright, her ankles crossed. “Of course. Everything is fine with everyone. We just wanted to talk to you about something.”

  Dad took the seat beside her, his forearms on his knees, his dry palms sliding past each other absentmindedly.

  I dropped down onto the couch across from them, wearing black leggings and a baggy top, my hair in a messy bun. My eyes shifted back and forth between them, seeing them staring at me like they didn’t need to blink. “Alright…you guys are freaking me out. What is it?”

  Dad cleared his throat. “Atlas told me what’s going on with you two.”

  “He did?” I asked, unable to contain my shock. It had taken so long for him to tell me, and I was the one dating him. He just told my dad like he was…his dad.

  “Yes,” Dad said with a nod. “We just thought…you might want to talk about it.”

  Honestly, I hadn’t spent much time thinking about it. I was still processing what he’d told me. “There’s not much to say. He said he wants me to seriously think about what I want in life, but I haven’t been doing that.”

  “Then what have you been doing?” Dad asked.

  “Thinking about him, I guess.” I crossed my legs and leaned back into the couch. “I just keep picturing it all in my head…everything he had to go through… And it just breaks my heart. His ex-wife is a bitch, if you ask me.” But whatever, her loss was my gain.

  “She wanted different things in life,” Mom said. “It happens.”

  My eyes narrowed on her face. “Doesn’t matter. In sickness and in health, it’s literally in the vows. I understand a woman not signing up for the ride, but it’s totally different to be married to someone and then abandon them like that. That’s not love…that’s not loyalty.”

  Dad gave a nod. “True. But family is the most important thing in the world. When you’re denied that—”

  “He was her family. You’re married, you have the same last name, it means you’re family.” I hated that stupid skank, and if I ever saw her, I’d fight her ass. “Of all people, I can’t believe you don’t agree with that—”

  “Never said we didn’t,” Dad said quickly. “But making a child with the person you love is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. When I look at you, I don’t just see myself. I see your mother too. It’s the greatest form of immortality you can possess, to see your love live on in another person. There’s no way to describe it, to describe how I feel looking at you right now, to describe how your mother felt carrying you and holding my hand when she gave birth to you. I don’t agree with the decision his ex-wife made, but I do understand it. I understand someone wanting that to the exclusion of all else.”

  I stared at my dad, absorbing those words deeply.

  “It’s okay if that’s important to you, if you want to be with a man who can give you those things. Nothing wrong with it at all. I would never fault someone who felt that way.”

  “But you wouldn’t have left Mom—”

  “Never.” He shook his head. “She wouldn’t have left me either. But we aren’t you. We aren’t his ex-wife. We aren’t anyone else in the world.”

  “It feels like you don’t want me to be with Atlas.” I spoke with a quiet voice because I couldn’t believe my father would feel that way.

  He shook his head. “Then you misunderstand me. Because we will support whatever decision you make without judgment. I just want you to have the full scope of the situation so you can make the right decision. The last thing I want is for you to leave him and regret it—or worse, stay and regret it. You’re you
ng and children aren’t on your mind right now, but there will come a day when it’s all you care about, and I don’t want that moment to be met with disappointment. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

  My arms crossed over my chest, my stomach tightening in discomfort.

  “It may not seem this way, but I’m having this conversation with you for his sake as well as yours. Because I don’t want him to go through that again—to be with someone who changes their mind. That abandonment…is scarring.”

  “I know…” My eyes watered just thinking about it.

  “So, I want you to be sure how you feel about this. Because there’s no going back. Be with him, and you deny yourself that experience, that joy of making a family with the person you love. Understand what you’re giving up before you do it. That’s all I ask.”

  I looked away, considering my future, the way things would unfold. “He said he doesn’t want to use a sperm donor. It has to be adoption.”

  Mom gave a slight nod in understanding.

  That meant I would never waddle around with a baby in my belly. I wouldn’t look at our kids and see ourselves in their appearance. We would apply for a child and hope someone would pick us, that someone would think we were worthy enough to raise the child they didn’t want. It was definitely a different life. “Honestly, I want to be pregnant. I want what you guys have.”

  Dad stared, his expression not changing because he didn’t think less of me for saying that.

  “But…I really love him.”

  Mom’s eyes softened.

  “I can picture myself loving adopted children like they’re my own, but I can’t picture myself loving a man the way I love him.”

  Dad’s eyes brightened slightly, as if he was pleased with that answer but doing his best to hide it.

  Mom didn’t suppress her reaction. She just smiled, beamed, really. “Then it sounds like you have what your father and I have.”

  I gave a slight nod. “But in the back of my mind, every problem has a solution. Nothing is impossible, so I think we could help him. I mean, you’re the smartest person I know… We could do this.”

  His eyes immediately dropped. “Sweetheart, I’m an oncologist—”

  “You’re a doctor. You help people. Help me help him.”

  Dad kept his eyes down for a while, rubbing his palms together.

  “Dex could help too. We could be a team.”

  He lifted his chin and looked at me again. “You can’t base your decision on this hope, Daisy. You need to accept him as he is.”

  “And I do. But there’s no reason we can’t try.”

  “Again, I don’t deal with reproduction—”

  “Neither do I. But the three of us are some of the smartest people in the world. We can figure this out. We have to at least try. It’s not even about Atlas and me being able to have a biological child. It’s about giving this back to him, for him not to feel…broken.”

  Mom placed her hand on his knee as she looked at him.

  Silently, he stared at her, having a conversation without words.

  He turned back to me. “Alright.”

  “Thank you,” I blurted. “I know Dex will help too.”

  “There’s something you need to consider,” he said. “We may all agree to do what we can, but that doesn’t mean he’ll cooperate. It would put him under emotional duress when he’s already had enough of it.”

  “I know, but he’ll do it. He’ll do it for me.”

  5

  Atlas

  My nights were spent with a drink in hand, paperwork in front of me, the TV showing a game I didn’t really care about.

  A week had come and gone.

  Didn’t hear from Daisy.

  At least she did what I asked—and took the time to think it over.

  The buzzer to the intercom went off. “Let me up.”

  It was her.

  I stared at the panel before I hit the button and gave her access to the elevator.

  A long moment later, the doors opened, revealing Daisy in jeans and a t-shirt, her long hair over one shoulder, her eyelashes thick, her eyes full of affection.

  I’d forgotten how beautiful she looked.

  She stared at me.

  I stared back.

  It continued for a while.

  Then she entered my penthouse and let the doors shut behind her.

  I couldn’t read her right now. My heart was heavy with impending doom. I was afraid, just as afraid as I was every time the doctor read my test results. Her words could change my life forever, break my heart…or put it back together.

  She moved into me, her arms resting on mine when I instinctively held on to her waist. She came close, her chin tilted up to meet my gaze. Without her heels, she was dwarfed by my height, but I didn’t mind the strain of my neck to look at her.

  I did my best not to misinterpret her affection. This could be the cushion before the blow. This could still be the end, and the love in her eyes was no guarantee that she wouldn’t walk out my door for the last time.

  She spoke, her eyes on mine. “I love you.”

  I immediately inhaled a breath, felt it fill my lungs, felt the tension leave my shoulders.

  “Whatever happens with us, if we get married and have a family, however we have them, they’ll be ours.”

  My eyes watered despite how hard I tried to keep the tears back. The film on my eyes was heavy, like raindrops on a windshield. I didn’t just find a woman who loved me unconditionally, but a woman I could only dream of, a woman I hadn’t realized I needed until I found her. Smart. Beautiful. Feisty. Crazy. Passionate. Intense. Difficult. Unapologetic. Fucking perfect. “Are you sure?” I swallowed, forcing the emotion back into my throat where it belonged.

  “I can love any child like they’re my own, but I can’t love any man the way I love you.”

  “Baby…” Speechless, I couldn’t form words. My eyes shifted back and forth as I looked into hers, experiencing real love for the first time. With my ex, that wasn’t real. This was real. It was real, true, flawless. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “We could do something that doesn’t require you to say anything at all.” Her eyes dropped down to my lips, one hand planting against my hard stomach.

  I couldn’t suppress the quirk of my lips, the way she made me smile, the way she always made me smile. She walked into my life like a fucking tornado, but she loved me with the power of a storm, burned me hot like the sun.

  My hand gripped her ass the way she liked, and I tugged her into me—and kissed her hard.

  My hand fisted her hair, the strands wrapped around my wrists, my fingers deep into her scalp until I could grab her skull. A single arm was strong enough to hold my body over hers, and I rocked my hips into her slowly, sliding into that tightness I’d missed every day like crazy.

  I watched every breath she took.

  Watched the way her lips parted in the sexiest way.

  Watched the way her eyes closed involuntarily, like she was swept away in the greatest high she’d ever known.

  She moaned for me, dug her nails into my chest as she dragged them to my stomach. Folded up underneath me and wide open, she took my length with more enthusiasm than she ever had before, her moans distinct and animalistic. When she was about to come, she grabbed my ass and yanked me inside her, her back arching as she reached the stars again.

  My dick slid through her come and my own, tight and sticky, anxious to release again because she was the most erotic experience I’d ever had. There was no woman who held a candle to her, no woman who could ever compare.

  She was it for me.

  I should have known it the moment we met, when she held her ground and told me off without flinching.

  I should have known this was the woman I needed in my life.

  She squeezed my hips as she came, her hips bucking uncontrollably against me, her nails slicing me like little knives.

  I loved the pain. I loved the sting.

 
It hurt so good.

  My hand left her hair and supported my weight, my hips moving farther between her thighs, and then I pounded until release, giving out a satisfied moan as I filled her with another load of myself.

  She pulled me close, her hands in my hair, her lips moving against mine, like she wanted more even though we were both fully satisfied. Whenever she was with me, she gave it her all, gave all of her passion and desire, unafraid to be sexy, to tell me exactly how she wanted it, when she wanted it.

  She wasn’t shy.

  And I fucking loved that.

  We hit the bottom of the crescendo, our bodies tired and our eyes locked on each other. Sweaty and hot, we remained together, the moisture acting as glue between us. I moved into her and pressed another kiss to her lips, a soft and gentle one, the closer to the best lovemaking we’d ever shared. “I love you.” I’d never said those words with such emotion, with such depth from my soul.

  She looked at me through her thick lashes, her lips still slightly parted, plump and sexy, her teeth perfectly white. “I know.”

  My lips cherished her everywhere, kissing her collarbone, her neck, her perfect tits. I worshiped her body with my kiss, showed her the depth of my love as if my words weren’t enough.

  I rolled over and lay beside her, the bedroom dark because it was sometime in the night. My work was abandoned in the living room, the TV still on and showing whatever came on after the game. Dinner was forgotten.

  She lay beside me, a weightlessness to her features, like there was no second-guessing her decision. The backs of her fingers grazed lightly over my stomach, and her eyes dropped to watch her movements, to watch herself touch me.

  In that moment, I knew I’d ask her to marry me.

  There was no doubt.

  If I could get a yes out of her, I’d go for it.

  Lock her down for good.

  I was seriously picturing it in my head when I heard it.

  Her stomach growled.

  The laughter started in her eyes first before her lips pulled back in a grin.