The Man Who Has No Heart (Soulless Book 2) Page 5

  I scooped the salmon fillets onto the dishes along with the rice, then carried the plates into the dining room. I set one in front of her before I sat across from her, having made two servings once I knew she was coming over. I didn’t think twice about it.

  She stared at the food blankly. “Deacon, you didn’t have to make anything for me.”

  “I don’t mind.” If Tucker were there, I would make him something. I didn’t see her as just an assistant who ran my life. I saw her as a person in my inner circle, someone I trusted, someone I cared about.

  “Well…thank you.” She took a bite, her eyes rolling slightly like she liked it. She kept eating as she organized her papers. “I don’t blame her for wanting to live with you. There’s a lot more space here. Tucker’s place is nice, enough room for two people, but it’s still not a luxury residence.”

  Anytime she mentioned Tucker, I remembered that they dated, but it also felt like it had never happened, like I could erase it from my mind and pretend it was just a bad dream.

  “That was nice of you to say yes.”

  “She put me on the spot. What else was I supposed to say?”

  She smiled. “True.”

  “Tucker offered to let her stay with him. That was our deal. And she just vetoed it all.”

  She chuckled. “I have a feeling I’m going to like her. She knows what she wants and is blunt about it.”

  Maybe that was where I got it from.

  “But it’s still sweet that you said yes. I know giving up your space must be really difficult.”

  I was dreading it. It was different when Derek stayed, because I was willing to make any sacrifice to have him. But with my mother, it felt like I was a child again. “Are there any spaces available in the building?”

  “I have one that might open up soon, but…do you want her to live in the building with you?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Well, maybe we just won’t tell her that, then.”

  “But she says she wants you to work for her. I guess Tucker told her how much you help me, and she wants the same thing.”

  “Ooh…” She ignored her papers and dug into her food, eating a lot of it like she actually liked it and wasn’t eating it just to be polite. “That’s understandable. How old is she?”

  “In her sixties.”

  “In good health?”

  I nodded. “But I can’t see her carrying her own groceries and doing all that stuff. If she lived somewhere else, would you still be able to help her?”

  Cleo shook her head. “My contract is really strict. I’ve had clients offer me a lot of money to work for them privately, but this is a small town for the rich and famous, and my boss would find out pretty quickly…and sue me for every penny I have.”

  I assumed that was the case. “Is there another building in Manhattan that offers the same thing?”

  “Honestly, the Trinity Building is one of a kind. That’s why people are so anxious to live here. There are private service companies, but they aren’t as efficient because they’re driving all over the place, taking care of clients throughout the city.”

  Now I realized how lucky I was to live there, to have an incredible staff run my life so I didn’t have to, so I could just focus on my work and nothing else. It was a luxury I took for granted so quickly, adapting to the change like my previous life had never happened.

  “But I could find her a personal assistant who could do all that. Though, to be frank, the good ones are expensive. I’m not sure what her income is—”

  “I’ll take care of it. It’ll be a gift.”

  “That’s sweet…”

  “It’ll give me peace of mind that she has someone to help her with whatever she needs. The whole reason she’s moving here is to be close to Tucker and me. She’s not the city type. She’s used to driving everywhere, parking her SUV in a spacious parking lot, driving down quiet roads. This is a big change for her. It’ll make the transition a lot easier.”

  She ignored her food and smiled at me. “You’re a good son.”

  I disagreed with that. “When she called me, I realized I hadn’t spoken to her in a long time…”

  Her smile started to falter as I continued. “Being with Derek made me realize how much I love him. It’s something all parents feel for their kids. That’s how she feels about me…and I don’t even take the time to call her. I feel really guilty about that.”

  She was quiet for a while, my words heavy. “Well, now you have the opportunity to be different. You can take her to the theater, take her out to nice dinners, take her to the cabin with Derek… You have time to make up for it.”

  Instead of turning to Tucker to express my thoughts, I turned to Cleo, who always made me feel better. She was my confidant, the person I shared all my secrets with. Even Tucker didn’t know about my past drinking problem. He didn’t know how bad things were with Valerie. But Cleo knew everything about my life…and she never judged me.

  She stared at me for a few seconds before she grabbed the top paper and turned it toward me. “Based on her budget, this is the best thing I could find. It’s only a few blocks away, it’s between you and Tucker, and it has a parking garage so she can have a car. It’s three bedrooms with lots of space. Normally, this unit would be gone in less than a day, but I know the owner and—”

  “You know everyone.” I lifted my gaze and smiled at her.

  “Yeah, I kinda do.”

  I turned back to the paper.

  “So, I have it on hold for seventy-two hours. When did your mother say she was flying out?”

  “She didn’t.”

  “Well, if we can get her here to see the place, maybe we can close quickly so she’ll only have to stay with you for a week or so.”

  Even a week was too long.

  She must have seen the dread in my eyes, because she added, “Think about it this way. This is the last time you’ll have an opportunity to spend time with her in this way, in this kind of environment. You can dread it…or appreciate it.”

  Cleo was the only person in the world I had these kinds of conversations with. With everyone else, including my mother, it was just rough. I struggled to understand the meaning behind their words, felt suffocated by their proximity. It was like living with Valerie again. I stayed at the lab or spent my time in the office upstairs just to have privacy.

  “If you need some space, you can always rent a hotel room for the day, just to spend the evening by yourself. You could even come to my place if you want. I usually work late, so I’m not even there.”

  “You would offer that?” I asked in surprise.

  “Of course.” She grabbed her plate. “You’ve opened your home to me. I can open my home to you.”

  She made me feel better, calmed me, chased away the anxiety. “Sometimes I think Tucker did it on purpose, said how amazing you are so she’d want to stay with me instead of him.”

  “Wouldn’t put it past him.”

  “Asshole,” I said with a chuckle. “I let him live here if he agreed to house our mother, but he found a loophole.”

  She finished her food, wiping her plate clean.

  “You like my cooking?”

  She laughed loudly, like I’d made a joke.

  I stared at her with the same serious gaze, unsure what just happened.

  She noticed my expression. “I laughed because your question is ridiculous. Of course, I like your cooking. I don’t get to eat like this at home.”

  “Why?”

  “Mainly, I don’t have the time.”

  “Well, if you ever want to join me for dinner, my door is always open.”

  Her eyes softened as she pulled her laptop close to her. She hit the keys so the screen would brighten. “Here are some photos. Let me know what you think.”

  I pulled the laptop close and clicked through the pictures.

  Cleo dropped her gaze to her paperwork, absentmindedly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyelashes were down tow
ard her cheek, and her short-sleeved blouse showed the small muscles of her arms, the beautiful color of her skin.

  I stopped clicking and stared.

  She grabbed her pen and made a note in her pretty handwriting.

  When my stare went on too long, I forced myself to look at the computer again. I clicked through the pictures until the end. “She’ll like it.”

  “Great.” She lifted her chin and took the laptop back. “I’ll work on finding her an assistant.”

  “I’m sure you’ll get the right person.”

  “Well…” She gathered her papers and her laptop before placing them in her bag. “Let me know when she gets here. I’ll make all the arrangements to make this as smooth as possible. And if she likes the place, I’ll get the inspections done immediately so we can close fast.”

  “Thank you.” I needed this to happen at the speed of light.

  “Thank you for dinner, Deacon.”

  I got to my feet and walked her to the door.

  “You don’t need to do that, Deacon. I can let myself out.”

  I ignored what she said and opened the door for her.

  She crossed the threshold and smiled at me. “By the way, I got those tickets you asked for.”

  “You did?” I asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. I’ll drop them off tomorrow with the bill.”

  “Thanks. Tucker will love that.”

  “You’re a very thoughtful man.” She waved before she walked down the hallway.

  I shut the door and turned back to my condo, the silence suddenly deafening. I used to thrive in it. Now I sometimes hated it.

  “Her plane lands tonight.”

  Tucker chuckled. “Wow, your first sleepover with Mom.”

  I glared at him as I took a drink. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

  “What?” he asked incredulously. “It’s not my fault she wanted to stay with you.”

  “Oh, don’t pull that shit. You told her all that stuff about Cleo—”

  “I was dating her,” he said. “I mean, it’s not that crazy to mention her.”

  “Did you tell Mom you were dating her?”

  “Well…no.”

  I glared at him again. “We had a deal. I put up with you for weeks.”

  “Look, I don’t blame her. Why would she want to stay in my tiny-ass place when she could live in a building full of billionaires?”

  His argument made sense, but I still didn’t want to accept the truth. I was a grown-ass man who had to stay with his mother, had to be roommates with her. “We’re showing her an apartment tomorrow. Hopefully, she likes it and gets out.”

  “Mom is picky.”

  “Yeah, but Cleo hunted this place down. It’s nice. It has everything she could want. And Cleo found her an assistant.”

  “Wow, you’re trying to get rid of her as quickly as possible, huh?”

  “I’m glad she’s moving to the city—but no, I don’t want her in my condo.”

  “Because you and Cleo are fucking all over the place?”

  I gave him a blank stare, feeling my neck get a little warm when the mental picture exploded into my brain. I sat on the couch with her on top of me, her tits in my face, her wet pussy around my dick. Oh Jesus Christ.

  Tucker drank his beer and stared at me. “What? Are you not fucking all over the place?”

  “Tucker.” Even if I were, I wouldn’t share those details.

  “It’s a legitimate question. After she dumped me, I assumed you would go for her.”

  “She works for me.”

  Both of his eyebrows rose. “You’re serious? You didn’t ask her out?”

  I shook my head.

  “What the hell is wrong with you? She’s a perfect ten—”

  “Let’s not do this.” I already knew she was gorgeous. I already knew she had nice, perky tits and an ass that was so juicy I wanted to take a huge bite out of it. I knew her skin tasted like candy and her pussy tasted like vanilla fucking ice cream. I’d rather not listen to my brother notice all the same things I did.

  He sighed. “She’s awesome. Why wouldn’t you want to be with her? And she’s so hard up for you, man.”

  “You shouldn’t assume.”

  “In this case, the assumption is right.”

  “I was with her one night and asked why she ended things with you. She didn’t mention me at all.”

  He gripped his skull like he was frustrated. “Of course she didn’t mention you. You think she’s just going to look you in the eye and say she wants your nuts in her mouth?”

  “Tucker.” I didn’t care if he talked about other women like that, but not Cleo.

  He sighed. “That’s not how people are, Deacon. She’s not going to tell you the truth.”

  “She always tells me the truth.”

  “This isn’t the same thing. She probably thinks you don’t feel the same way, so why would she just blurt that out? It would be embarrassing and incredibly awkward. You aren’t just some guy she can avoid if this goes south. You’re her boss. You get what I’m saying?”

  I swirled the remaining liquid in my beer just so I had something to do with my hands.

  “Just talk to her. She’ll feel the same way. I promise you.”

  I stared down at my beer.

  “You can pick up an endless line of random women at the bar, but you can’t ask out one particular woman?”

  “It’s not the same.” I lifted my gaze and looked at him.

  “Yeah, it’s easier.”

  “When I bring a woman home, it’s just sex. That’s all I want. But I can’t have that with Cleo…”

  He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “I assumed you didn’t want that with Cleo anyway. It seems like you both want more.”

  I shook my head. “I’ve only been divorced for five months…”

  “So?”

  “I don’t want to be in a relationship again.”

  He sighed quietly.

  “It was the worst shit I’ve ever had to go through, even worse than losing Dad, because it was five years of fucking torture. I was never happy—not once.”

  “Deacon, it’s not the same thing.”

  I shook my head. “She took half my money—which she didn’t even earn. She destroyed my research when I didn’t give her what she wanted. She threw a fucking plate at my head because I didn’t answer a simple question, and I got a goddamn concussion…”

  He turned quiet, his eyes falling.

  “There were times when I wished she’d get in a car accident and never come home…” I felt guilty for wishing that on anyone, especially the mother of my child, but she made my life a living hell.

  “Fuck that shit.” My voice rose louder because I lost control. “Why the fuck would I want to do that again? I’m happy with my life right now. It’s the first time I’ve been happy in half a goddamn decade. And you think I should just get into another relationship after that shitshow? Five months after I got divorced?”

  He was quiet, letting me vent.

  I stared at the table and let my breathing slowly return to normal. Maybe I was in a bad mood because my mother would be there that evening. Or maybe it was a moment of catharsis, to share some of the memories of my marriage that I tried so hard to forget. Tucker had known I wasn’t happy, but he never knew the details…because I never told anyone.

  He watched me for a while. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

  “I stayed for Derek until I couldn’t do it anymore.” I remembered the night I left so clearly. “She cheated on me and then screamed at me for being a piece-of-shit husband. So, she took my Nobel Prize and threw it over the fence. I spent the entire night searching for it with a flashlight. When I found it, I packed my shit and left.”

  His hand remained around his beer, and he looked at me with sadness in his eyes, like it hurt him to know I’d been tortured like that, disrespected.

  “My second-greatest accomplishment…thrown over the fucking fence…when th
at bitch cheated on me.”

  “What’s the first?” he whispered.

  “Derek.”

  His eyes softened.

  “So, no, I don’t want to be in a relationship. And I can’t just have a one-night stand with Cleo. Therefore, I can’t have anything with her. So, I choose to be her friend…and nothing more.”

  “I mean, she might be down with a one-night stand…”

  Even if she was, I didn’t want it. “That’s not how I feel about her.” It wasn’t because I wasn’t attracted to her, because I was…immensely. But that seemed like a slap in the face to the kind of relationship we had and how much she meant to me. She wasn’t some random woman I picked up in a bar. And if I had her once…I’d want her again.

  Tucker stared at me for a while, as if he were trying to read my expression. “You’re right. Maybe it is too soon. You’ve been burned pretty bad, worse than I realized. I understand why you aren’t interested in that right now.”

  About fucking time.

  “But you’re comparing a toxic relationship to a healthy one. I don’t know Cleo as well as you do, but I can promise she’s nothing like Valerie. She would never treat you like that.”

  “I never said they’re anything alike.”

  “But you’re implying they are. You don’t want to be in a relationship because your ex-wife was a psycho bitch. Well, Cleo isn’t a psycho bitch. She’s someone who gets you. She’s patient with you—a lot more than anyone else I’ve ever seen. When I talk shit about you, she shuts me down. She always has your back, man.”

  I looked away.

  “I just want to clarify that for you, so you don’t make a mistake.”

  “Make a mistake?”

  “Yeah. Because Cleo isn’t going to wait around forever. She’s going to eventually give up hope and move on with her life.”

  “You’re still making a huge assumption. I’m her boss. Maybe she does have feelings for me, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be with me. She’s really dedicated to her work, and I doubt she’d want to make that complicated.”

  “Now you’re the one making assumptions…”

  I glared at him.

  “I just don’t want you to lose something really great because you’re scared—”