Black Forever Page 6

  “I think you do, actually.” I reached out and grabbed his hard cock, lubricating it with the soap from my hand. My thumb flicked over the tip and brushed away the bead of pre-come that formed there.

  “I guess that means we’re beautiful together.” He cupped my face then leaned in and kissed me, giving me a soft kiss that made me tingle everywhere. It wasn’t a sexy embrace, the kind he gave right before he fucked me hard against the mattress. It was a gentle greeting, a good morning kiss.

  It was the sweetest affection I’d gotten from him in a long time.

  He pulled away then stood under the shower, letting his short hair get wet. He looked sexy no matter what he did, but he looked particularly gorgeous in that moment.

  So I got on my knees and gripped him by the thighs.

  He looked down at me, his eyes darkening.

  I pointed his head into my mouth then pushed him deep inside my throat, nearly making myself gag right from the beginning.

  “Fuck…” He gripped the back of my neck and thrust his hips, burying his cock inside my mouth. “You have no idea how sexy you look right now.”

  And he had no idea how sexy he looked to me.

  He walked me to my office door then kissed me in the hallway, ignoring Chad as he walked by. Calloway’s arm was tight around my wrist, and he smothered me with affection that wasn’t appropriate for any public place.

  I had to force myself to step away. “I’ll see you after work.”

  “I have a feeling you’re going to see me sooner than that.” He gave my ass a gentle squeeze before he finally walked away.

  Once he was gone, I felt the blush move into my cheeks. When he came inside my mouth that morning, he seemed immensely satisfied. It was like our conversation from the previous night never happened. Maybe I was just trying to ignore it as much as possible because nothing good would come from it, but that didn’t matter to me.

  I sat down and got to work.

  No one in the office had an assistant except Calloway, so we handled everything on our own. We all agreed it was better to save that money and give it back to the communities we were trying to help rather than making our jobs more convenient.

  So when someone came to my office, I had to deal with it right away instead of hiding behind an assistant.

  “Rome Moretti?” The woman was immediately hostile, her jet-black hair long even though it was pulled into a high ponytail. She wore a short dress and heels that only a supermodel could pull off.

  “Yes.” I didn’t recognize her from anywhere in the office, and she didn’t look like she was from the mail room either. “Do I know you?”

  “No.” She held up a large orange envelope and invited herself into my office. She tossed the packet on the desk like she owned the damn place.

  “Uh, did you skip the manners section in kindergarten?”

  She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest, unaffected by the insult. I knew this woman didn’t like me the second she walked in the door, and I had no idea what I could have done to a stranger to elicit this kind of disrespectful behavior. She looked down at my hands, and a quick reaction shook her body. She automatically stepped back as she took a deep breath, like she saw a spider on me.

  When she looked me in the eye again, it really seemed like she wanted to kill me.

  “Who are you?” I demanded.

  “I can’t believe he gave that to you.” Her rage was mixed with despair. Her voice nearly broke when she spoke, so full of anguish.

  “Who gave me what?”

  She eyed my hand again. “That ring.”

  I looked down and spotted the black diamond Calloway gave me so long ago. He asked me to take him back in exchange for walking away from Ruin. But he asked me to wear this anyway, his only request. “How did you know…?” My mind worked quicker than my mouth, and I suspected I found the answer.

  She was one of his subs.

  Probably his most recent one.

  And I was repulsed. The fact that he ever touched this woman, kissed this woman, made me more jealous than I’d ever been in my life. Without knowing a single thing about her, I wanted to strangle her.

  “All those nights that Calloway has been at Ruin, he’s been with me. He takes me in his playroom and spanks me, whips me, and does many more unspeakable things—because you won’t give it to him. I’m his sub. I’ve been his sub for a very long time. Just thought you should know.” She nodded to the envelope. “All the proof you need.” She gave me another threatening glare before she stormed out of my office, shaking her ass like a model on the runway.

  I wanted to scream.

  Her confession immediately sent me into a spiral of panic. Calloway had been acting strange because he was sneaking around behind my back. When I couldn’t give him what he needed, he went to someone else.

  How could he do this to me?

  I eyed the envelope sitting on the table then ripped the seal open, needing to see the proof that was sitting inside.

  But then I stopped myself.

  Calloway would never do that to me. He was loyal to me, devoted to me. He told me he loved me and showed it every single day. Maybe we had our problems, but he would never hurt me like that.

  I gripped the envelope by the edges but didn’t open it. I didn’t need to see what was inside. It had to be Photoshopped images that she threw together. None of the contents had any basis in reality.

  I knew Calloway.

  And I trusted him.

  I left my office with the envelope tucked under my arm and headed to his office on the other side of the building. This time, I took his request seriously and walked right inside without checking in with his assistant.

  She stared at me with surprise but didn’t dare try to stop me.

  Calloway was on the phone when I walked inside. “Of course, Greg.” He listened to him over the line as his eyes locked to mine. When he saw the concern on my face, he finished up the call. “Greg, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you on Tuesday, alright? Talk to you then.” He placed the phone on the base. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He rose to a stand and came around the desk, buttoning the front of his suit on instinct.

  I held up the envelope. “One of your old subs stopped by my office just now.”

  Calloway’s concern immediately melted away. He stiffened at the subject and released a quiet sigh. He eyed the envelope but didn’t take it. Like he’d done over the past few weeks, he became unreadable once more.

  “She told me you’ve been sneaking off with her at Ruin, that she’s your sub because I can’t give you what you need. Then she handed me this for proof.” I shook the envelope.

  Calloway placed his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to the floor.

  “What a psychopath. I didn’t realize she was still obsessed with you.”

  Calloway slowly raised his head and looked at me, his eyebrows slightly raised.

  “She barged into my office like she owned the damn place. And she expects me to believe this bullshit?” I wanted to throw the envelope against the damn well. Better yet, I wanted to light it on fire and watch it burn to ash. That woman had a lot of nerve trying to come between Calloway and me. It would take a lot more than a filthy lie to get me to think twice.

  His face suddenly softened in a way it never had before. His eyes crinkled in the corners, and he swallowed hard. He placed his hand underneath his chin and rubbed the scruff along his jaw. His eyes closed like he suddenly needed a moment to recuperate. It wasn’t clear if he was touched by what I said or repulsed.

  “What?” I asked, unable to read him the way I used to.

  He returned his hand to his pocket and opened his eyes again, this time meeting my gaze head on. “Rome…she wasn’t lying. Everything she said is true.” He swallowed hard again, his Adam’s apple moving slightly.

  I heard what he said, but I couldn’t conceive of it. It was a fact, a confession, but it still didn’t sink into my brain. “What…?” There was no way this really
happened. There was no way Calloway would sneak around behind my back. There was no way he would touch another woman. “I…what?” I immediately stepped back because I suddenly wasn’t getting enough air. I needed to breathe. Otherwise, I would collapse.

  A slight look of remorse was in his eyes, but the rest of his body remained strong. “She has been my sub for a few months. When I go to Ruin, I hit her. I strike her with my belt or hit her with my whip. I give her a command, and she obeys. She does what I ask, gives me the control. She gives me what I need…”

  I took another step back, my eyes filling with tears. “Calloway…”

  “I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t kiss her. I never touched her, actually. I’ve been faithful to you in every way imaginable. But…she does the one thing you won’t do. I wish I could have walked away that night when I had my breakdown but I couldn’t. I needed it.”

  My heart finally relaxed when I heard what he said, that he didn’t fuck her while I slept in the bed I shared with him. It was such a relief I considered sitting on the floor and enjoying that fact.

  But then the pain returned.

  The heartbreak.

  The devastation.

  “How could you do this…?” Now I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. They bubbled at the corners of my eyes before they streaked down my face. I didn’t bother wiping them away, wanting Calloway to hurt the way I was hurting.

  His eyes cringed slightly, pained by what he saw. “I don’t know what to say… I needed it.”

  “That’s your excuse?” I hissed. “That’s what justifies it?”

  “I’m just explaining—”

  “So if I needed sex because you were working late, I’d have every right to screw some other guy?”

  His jaw clenched at the suggestion. “Not the same thing and you know it.”

  “It is the same goddamn thing, Calloway.”

  “I told you I didn’t touch her. I meant that. I just bossed her around, and she obeyed. That’s all I wanted from you, but you refused to give it to me.”

  “Because I refuse to disrespect myself like that?” I hissed. “Because I refuse to bow to a man? Wasn’t that the reason you were attracted to me in the first place?”

  “Yes. But I wanted to break you. I’ve always wanted to break you.”

  “Well, I don’t break for anyone, Calloway. Not even you.” I headed to the door, determined to get the hell away from him once and for all. We were officially done. I could deal with his strange desires and the rough way he took me from time to time, but I could never deal with this. It didn’t matter that he didn’t touch her. It didn’t matter that he didn’t fuck her. He still shared a sexual experience with someone else.

  I got the door opened and marched out, waiting for him to grab me by the wrist or the arm.

  But the touch never came.

  I turned around to shut the door and spotted him on the other side of the room, looking out the window of his office. His hands rested in his pockets as he examined the city below him. There was no fight in him. He had no intention of doing whatever he could to keep me.

  He was letting me go.

  7

  Calloway

  I had Tom follow her to make sure she was okay. He followed her all the way to the house then waited outside for her to finish packing her things.

  I assumed that’s what she was doing.

  I stayed at work until the end of the day, knowing she probably wouldn’t be there when I got home.

  But there was nothing I could do about that.

  I expected to feel more pain for what I’d done. I expected to feel more guilt. When those tears streaked down her cheeks, I felt terrible. But when she walked out of my office, I didn’t bother chasing her down.

  I knew we were done.

  In the back of my mind, I knew this was going to happen. The moment I whipped Isabella, I knew Rome and I wouldn’t last. No matter how much I tried to avoid who I really was, it never worked. The man I was deep inside would never change. I would always need domination and control. And I would always be a sadist.

  It was time to accept that.

  I walked home once the day was over, taking my time because there was nothing waiting for me when I arrived. I didn’t call Rome or send her a text message. I didn’t waste my time trying to talk to her.

  She had every right to leave.

  She should leave.

  When I arrived at the house, Tom’s car was waiting at the curb. That had to mean she was still inside, gathering the rest of her things. I was surprised it was taking her so long. I hoped I’d be spared the pain of watching her leave the house one last time.

  But I knew I deserved that agony.

  I stepped inside and saw her bags piled in the entryway. She wasn’t in the living room, so she must have been upstairs, grabbing the rest of her things. I took a seat on the couch and waited for her to return, refusing to crowd her when she was still upset.

  Fifteen minutes later, she came to the bottom of the stairs with two more bags. She didn’t notice me right away, her face stained with old tears and her eyes still puffy.

  “Tom is waiting outside for you.”

  She grabbed her chest and nearly jumped out of her shoes. “Shit, you scared me.”

  I turned my gaze to the floor and massaged one of my knuckles. “Tom will take you wherever you want to go. I suggest you go to Christopher’s. You’ll be safe there. And if not there, I have no problem buying you something nice. It would give me peace of mind.”

  She remained in the entryway, her lower body in my peripheral. “That’s it?”

  I raised my head and turned back to her, not certain what she meant. “Do you want more?” She’d never been the kind of person to ask anything of me. Any time I’d tried to give her money, she was extremely offended.

  “You’re just going to let me go?” Her voice cracked as more tears emerged. “I mean…is this what you wanted the entire time? Is this your way out of this relationship?”

  The sound of her tears was as painful as dragging knives down my back. Knowing I was the reason behind her agony just made me feel worse. I got off the couch and walked toward her, keeping my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t be tempted to grab her.

  She wiped her tears away, but more spilled out. “I wish you’d just told me you didn’t want to do this anymore. I wish you were man enough to tell me the truth. I wish…I wish for a lot of things.”

  “Rome.” The second I said her name, I realized she was really leaving. It hit me harder then, that the one woman I ever gave a damn about was walking out on me. “I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to lose you. You know that.”

  “I really don’t,” she whispered. “You wouldn’t have gone to her if you felt otherwise.”

  “She doesn’t mean anything to me,” I said quietly. “I just needed what she gave me. I was never even hard for her. Any time I was with her, she relieved my stress and fulfilled my needs. Then I came home to you, and I was better. I felt better.” I turned my gaze and stared at the stairs. “And then I could be what you needed me to be. That’s all.”

  She shook her head like that answer wasn’t enough.

  “I love you.” My voice didn’t shake when I spoke. It was steady as a rock. “I’ve loved you far longer than you’ve loved me.”

  Her eyes met mine, and her chest froze in place because she stopped breathing.

  “But…this is who I am. I’ve tried fighting it, and it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried just being a boyfriend to you, but that hasn’t worked either. As much as I love you, as much as I want to make this work, I can’t do this anymore.” The pain started in my heart then circulated everywhere else. Soon every muscle in my body tensed with the imminent pain. Just like the last time she left me, I would be utterly heartbroken. But I would have to ride out the sorrow until I was finally better. And then one day, I would be back to where I was.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and forced herself to stop crying.
She was never the kind of woman to show pain or fear, so she tried to box everything up and hide it as much as possible.

  “I know I shouldn’t have been with Isabella. I just thought if she gave me what I needed, it could make our relationship better. Now I know that was wrong. When things got really bad…I should have ended this.”

  Her breathing picked up again as she tried to combat another round of tears.

  “I don’t want to be with anyone else,” I whispered. “I want to spend my life with you.” I knew I would never have the chance to say this to her again, so I needed to say it now. “I’d ask you to marry me if things were different. I’d do the whole father thing and grow old with you. I’d make any sacrifice that you wanted. But if you can’t give me what I need…it’ll never work. I wish I were normal. I wish I weren’t so fucked up in the head. But I am…and that will never change.”

  Rome stepped back like my final words just made things worse.

  A part of me still hoped she would change her mind, that she would forget her past and really trust me. That she would trust me to take her to a place she’d never been before. I’d done everything possible to make this relationship work. Now I hoped she would make the ultimate sacrifice to save us.

  But she didn’t. “I should go…” She turned to her bags, probably to cover her face more than anything else.

  I felt the rush of pain at her response, knowing there really was no hope for us. Rome was walking out of my life for good, and I would have to spend years trying to truly get over her. I’d fall into a life of meaningless sex and booze to fill the hole she just carved in my chest. “Let me help you.” I grabbed two of her suitcases.

  I knew the only reason why she allowed me to do anything was because she was trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. She didn’t object to using Tom to get to Christopher’s apartment. She was in flight mode, and there was no time for pride.