The Man Who Has No Sight (Soulless Book 4) Read online

  He looked at his phone while he walked to the main desk and slid it into his pocket as he greeted the receptionist. “Joan, I’m going to lunch—” The words died in his throat when he saw me, so shocked that he was quiet for at least five seconds. “Cleo…what are you doing here?” He was visibly uncomfortable by my presence, like he assumed my intentions were questionable.

  “I’m sorry to catch you off guard like this, David.” My voice was shaky and all over the place. “I-I just wanted to talk to you…if you have some time.”

  “Uh…” He glanced at Joan then back at me. “Yeah…I guess.” He moved forward and out of the office toward the elevator.

  I walked beside him in heels, my usual pencil skirt, and a black coat to keep me warm. “Where were you going to eat?”

  “There’s a café in the lobby.” The doors opened and he stepped inside.

  I joined him.

  Then the doors shut—and it was a tense ride to the bottom.

  He didn’t look at me or make small talk.

  Maybe I should have texted him first. I just didn’t want to get him in trouble with the woman in his life…his wife.

  The doors opened, and we walked to the café.

  I went first, ordered a salad wrap and an iced tea, and took a seat at a table in the corner.

  He joined me a moment later, his face ghostly pale. “So, Cleo…what’s up?” He didn’t move for his food or drink his water. He probably didn’t even have an appetite after I caught him off guard.

  “I’m really sorry to just show up like this. I thought about texting you, but I was afraid…that would get you into trouble.”

  He leaned back into the leather booth, his shoulders tense, his eyes rarely making contact with mine, like that was too uncomfortable.

  “I just… I wanted to apologize.”

  He noticeably stilled at the statement, like that was the last thing he’d expected to hear out of my mouth. “Apologize?” He cocked his head as he repeated my words back to me. “Apologize to me?”

  “Yeah…” The destruction of our marriage was entirely my fault…and now, that was abundantly clear. “Lately, it’s become really clear to me that I didn’t help out around the apartment…because I just didn’t care. I never tried to cook because it wasn’t important to me. Prioritizing my relationship with you…was never my priority. I worked long hours because I wanted to. You weren’t given the attention you deserved. Our marriage was never more important than my job. It’s so obvious to me now, and I’m sorry about that. I’m not sorry that we aren’t together anymore because I think we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be in life, but I am sorry that I married you. I shouldn’t have said yes, not if my heart wasn’t totally in it. In hindsight, it’s abundantly clear my heart was never in it, from the beginning. I guess I wanted to absolve my guilt by talking to you, because I feel really terrible about it now, wasting your time like that…”

  He listened to everything I said, slightly surprised. He must have expected me to walk in and make a scene even though we’d been divorced for almost two years now, but I’d never done it before, so maybe it was a delay in anger. The time apart made me a bitter woman. That was true, I was bitter, until Deacon. “Cleo…I don’t know what to say. I think you’re being a little harsh on yourself. I was the one who cheated—”

  “Because I was never there. I don’t blame you, David. You weren’t getting love, friendship, or intimacy from me. Of course you were going to get it somewhere else. I’m not saying I approve of adultery, but if I didn’t want that to happen, I could have been a better wife to you. Or just a wife in general.”

  He was quiet for a long time. “Where is this coming from? What brought this on?”

  “Well…” I almost didn’t say because it felt mean to talk about my new relationship, but he was married, so it didn’t seem to matter. “I fell in love with someone. I find myself going above and beyond for him. Doing his dishes. Blowing off work. Being in that relationship one hundred percent…because he’s the love of my life.”

  He didn’t react, like that didn’t cause him pain.

  “Seeing how hard I work in that relationship made me realize I never gave a damn about ours. I blamed you for everything, but it was all my fault. You tried to talk to me, you told me to stop working so much, to do my part at the apartment—and I never listened. Now I do his dishes without him even asking, just because I want to.”

  His food was still ignored. “You know, maybe we just weren’t right for each other. Because if you had put more work into our relationship, we would still be married, and you wouldn’t have this man. And based on how you’re describing him, it would have been a mistake for you not to have him.”

  I couldn’t picture myself with anyone but Deacon. I couldn’t even picture myself with David, even though we’d already been together. It just didn’t make sense at all anymore.

  “And I’m really happy with Cindy. We have a baby on the way.”

  “Aww…” I was genuinely happy to hear that, to know he was just as happy in life as I was. “That’s so wonderful. Congratulations.”

  He seemed to feel my sincerity, because he smiled. “Thanks.”

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we were supposed to be with other people. But I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

  “Cleo, I was the one who asked you to marry me.”

  “I know, but…”

  “And how are you supposed to know what real love is until you find it?” he asked. “We didn’t know any better. We thought what we had was the real deal. But now, I’m sure we both disagree with that.”

  “Absolutely.” The love I had with Deacon was practically spiritual because it was so strong. We blended together so well that it was like the universe made us for each other.

  “So, don’t be so harsh on yourself, Cleo. You made mistakes, but I made mistakes too. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter anyway, because we’re both happy.”

  “Yeah…we are.” If he was already married, then he didn’t waste any time rushing into a committed relationship. If he already had a baby on the way, they were committed for the rest of their lives. But it didn’t bother me at all. It didn’t matter how quickly he’d moved on, how quickly he forgot about me. Deacon made me forget there had ever been another man in my life. He was my one, my only.

  David took off the wrapping to his lunch. “Well, my appetite is back.”

  I smiled and opened mine before I took a bite. “So, how are you?”

  We talked together at the table, exchanging stories about our lives. He told me about Cindy’s family, I told him about Derek and Valerie, the psycho bitch. By the end of the lunch, it was like we were old friends…and that felt really nice.

  Six

  Deacon

  Without Valerie around to take care of Derek, I had to make sacrifices at work to be there for him. I thought about having a car pick up Derek and bring him to my office so he could play with his toys while I worked in the lab.

  But then I realized that was shitty parenting and unacceptable.

  If I had no other choice, I would do it. But I did have another choice. I could go to work earlier and leave earlier in the day to pick him up. I could make sacrifices to be there for my son…just as a parent should.

  When I’d assumed Cleo would take care of Derek without even asking, I realized how much I relied on her, not just as an assistant, but as a partner. I delegated parenting duties to her without thinking twice about it. Knowing he was with her would ease my worry at work because she would take good care of him.

  It made me realize how much our relationship had changed. I’d wanted to take things slow, but somehow, we skipped forward instead. It wasn’t even her fault. I was the one responsible for the rush. She made dinner when I worked late, her clothes were in my closet, her bed was my bed. She spent time with Derek while I worked at my laptop at the table. Whether I was ready for it or not, we were a family.

  And it felt right.

/>   None of this would have happened if she hadn’t needed to move to Brooklyn, but it was a happy coincidence because I loved having her around. I hadn’t even been divorced for a year, only had a year to live alone and decompress, but I was living with a woman again…and that didn’t bother me. It seemed way too fast, but it felt right.

  Because she was the right person.

  I picked up Derek from school, and we went home.

  “Can we go to the movies?” Derek asked from his side of the car.

  I was working on emails on my phone, so I forced myself to return the phone to my pocket and pay attention to my son. It was my dream to have him here, to see him every day, and I would never take that for granted. “Do you have homework?”

  “No…”

  I narrowed my eyes.

  He couldn’t lie because he looked too guilty doing it. “But I can do it later.”

  “You take care of your responsibilities before you play.”

  “Why? Can’t I just do it later?”

  “But will you do it later?”

  He sighed loudly.

  “Besides, it’s a school night. We don’t go out on school nights.”

  “Fine. But what about ice cream?”

  I ignored the question altogether.

  Derek looked out the window.

  I hated that Valerie spoiled him because I was the one who always had to say no. It made me look like the bad guy, when I was the only parent who actually gave a shit.

  We went to the condo and sat together at the dining table. I worked on my laptop and did my paperwork while Derek did his math and his reading. I wanted to get him into the habit of doing things right when he got home, to use his energy for something productive, to be responsible and self-sufficient. I’d read that routines were the most important component for children and reduced behavioral problems.

  The doorbell rang.

  Fuck, it was probably Valerie.

  Derek looked up. “Is Cleo home?”

  “No.” I got to my feet and walked to the door. When I opened it, Valerie stood there, hip cocked with a full attitude.

  This should be fun. “Hello, Valerie.”

  She welcomed herself into my apartment. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Please come in.” I shut the door then turned to her.

  “Hey, Mom.” Derek waved from the table, but he didn’t get up to greet her like he usually did.

  She seemed a little stung by that and didn’t say anything back.

  I wanted to dismiss Derek so we could talk privately, but he was set up at the table and working, so I nodded to the hallway. “Let’s talk in here.” I took her into his bedroom and shut the door. “Did you want to take Derek back? I can drop him off after he’s finished with his homework. He’s focused right now, and I don’t want to disturb him.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “There’s something else I want to talk about.”

  “Alright…”

  “Jake is moving to London.”

  My heart exploded in my chest, like a detonated bomb, because she wouldn’t be telling me this unless she intended to follow him.

  “His ex-wife is pregnant…” She sighed in annoyance.

  That fucker was all over the place. He had cheated on his wife with Cleo, but he still knocked up his wife, and now he was with a psycho bitch while becoming a father. He juggled three complicated relationships at once.

  “I’m kinda in love with him, so…I’ve agreed to move there.”

  This could not be fucking happening to me. Was this even true, or was she just being spiteful? “You hardly know him, Valerie.”

  “What’s there to know? He’s rich, handsome, good in bed…”

  Of course, that was all she cared about. She was incapable of having a deeper relationship because she was so shallow. “Still. It’s only been three months.”

  “You moved in with Cleo, and you’ve known her for, what, six?” she asked incredulously. “How about we stop controlling each other’s relationships and mind our business?”

  Wow, I would fucking love that. “I don’t mind keeping Derek full time. But I think your priority should be to your son, living in the same time zone and seeing him every day. You shouldn’t be chasing some guy so he can be a father to someone else’s kid.”

  She shook her head. “I’m taking Derek with me.”

  I inhaled a deep breath, both of my hands tightening into fists because my skull was about to explode and splatter blood all over the goddamn walls. “You can’t do that, Valerie.”

  “Yes, I can.” She shrugged with an attitude.

  I’d been reading up on child custody laws and regulations, because I’d been afraid of where my road with Valerie would take me. Now I was glad that I had. “You can’t take Derek out of the country. You can leave—but he can’t.”

  “I can take my son—”

  “I mean that literally, Valerie. It’s the law.”

  Her eyes narrowed.

  “Don’t make me take you to court, Valerie. I will…but I don’t want to.” I’d hire the best lawyers in the country and rip her to shreds. I would turn into a violent psychopath and drop every low blow I could to keep Derek. If she wanted me to fight for him, I wouldn’t stop until I won. “It will humiliate both of us as well as Derek.”

  “Look, I’m moving with Jake. That’s final.”

  “Fine.” The farther away she was, the better. “But Derek stays here. He’s in the best school in the country. His father, the celebrated researcher, has his business here. Even without that video, any judge would see that it’s better for Derek’s development to stay in New York. They would see that you’re just following some guy, that you’re prioritizing a lover over your own kid. You’d have no chance, Valerie.”

  She inhaled a deep breath, like she was growling.

  “You want to move to London, I won’t stop you. But…do you really want to miss watching Derek grow up, just to be with some guy?” It actually hurt me, physically hurt me, that she cared so little about our boy that she would even consider it. I’d feared Derek was just a pawn to get what she wanted, but I believed, deep inside, that she loved him. But now…I didn’t fucking know.

  “There’s nothing for me here, Deacon. You’ve moved on—”

  “Your son is here,” I snapped.

  “But Jake is the kind of man I want.”

  “There’re tons of rich guys here.”

  “But most of them are old and ugly.”

  Shallow bitch. “Jake is completely moving his life to be near his child with his ex. Isn’t that somewhat inspiring to you?” I hated that asshole, but he was doing the right thing for his kid. He didn’t just care about himself. He cared about being a father, being present in that kid’s life. I had to give him that. “Don’t you want to do the same?”

  “I want Derek and me to move there—”

  “Well, you can’t. Lawyer up and you’ll hear the same thing. You have no chance at winning this, Valerie.”

  She stared at me for a long time, working out her anger, working out her thoughts. She wasn’t getting her way, and she didn’t know how to cope with it. She’d held the power for so long, and now it was gone. “Fuck you, Deacon.” She slapped me across the face as hard as she could.

  I took the hit, reverting in time to when this was a regular part of my life. I never laid a hand on her, never fought back, because that wasn’t the kind of man I was. So, I took it…because I had no other option.

  I turned back to her, my cheek hot from the strike of her palm. “I’ve put up with a lot of shit from you. I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt more than you deserve. But if you really do this, if you really leave him…I’ll never forgive you.” I would put up with her bullshit every day for Derek’s sake. I didn’t want my son to grow up thinking his mother didn’t love him. That shit would damage him. I knew, every single day, that both of my parents loved me so goddamn much. Derek deserved the same.

  “It’s my life
, Deacon.” She walked off.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening, that she would do this to a perfect boy. “That’s really the kind of mother you want to be?”

  She turned back to me.

  “You want to be some whore who abandons her son to chase some guy?”

  She came back to me to slap me again.

  I grabbed her wrist and pushed her hand away, fighting back for the first time. “That shit is over, Valerie.” Now I stepped toward her, making her shrink back. “I won’t be able to protect you. I won’t be able to lie to Derek. When he gets older, it’ll be very clear that you chose to be with another family instead of working on the one you have. You can really live with that?”

  She stormed off, like she didn’t want to listen to me anymore.

  I followed her down the hallway. “You’re better than that. Come on, Valerie.”

  She reached the front door and opened it, revealing Cleo, who was about to step inside. Her big purse was over her shoulder, and she immediately shrank back when she realized what she’d just walked into.

  Seeing Cleo come to my condo like she lived there just made everything worse. “This is for Jake.” Valerie raised her hand.

  I grabbed her arm again, pushed her back, and then stood in front of Cleo. “I’m tired of your bullshit, Valerie. I’m not putting up with it anymore. Try that shit again…and I’ll come after you.” I could deal with her hitting me, but not my woman, not the kindest person on this planet.

  Valerie gave up the fight and stormed off. Her hips shook from side to side as she pushed her stilettos to the brink. She got into the elevator and flipped me off before the doors closed.

  I turned around and faced Cleo.

  She still looked shocked. “Jesus…what was that all about?”

  I grabbed the door and shut it so Derek couldn’t hear us out in the hallway.

  Her eyes narrowed on my face, the cheek where I’d been struck. She moved closer, her fingertips lightly touching the skin. “Did she hit you?”

  I grabbed her wrist and pulled it down. “Baby, I’m fine—”

  “Who the fuck does she think she is?” Her eyes watered even though the mark would be gone by morning. It wasn’t even an injury, just a strike that caused some inflammation. But Cleo was hurt like I’d been shot. She cupped my face and moved close, heartbroken at my treatment. “Deacon…”